Hi there!

When I was but a lad, I went to a major University.

Well, major by Canadian standards.

This major University was particularly renowned for its fine arts programs. I was a fine arts major.

Of its fine arts programs, this major University was particularly renowned for its theatre program. I was a theatre major.

I had to compete against an awful lot of people to get into this program. They accepted one hundred students in first year. They accepted sixteen people into second year performance. It was extremely difficult to look at all my fellow students as potential competitors for one of those coveted sixteen spots.

I tried really hard to do what everyone wanted me to do. I wrote the best essay I could write, I went to ensemble rehearsals at ungodly hours, I worked crews...

I was seventeen years old.

Near Christmas, every first year student went to see a professor to get official feedback about how they were doing in the program. I sat in a 10' by 10' cell of a room with my assigned professor. She was a dancer by trade. She asked me how I was doing. I said:

"... Uh... I don't know. I don't really feel like I fit in. My hair, my clothes, the way I... I mean I grew up in a place where if you look someone in the eye, you're saying hello. Here, if you look someone in the eyes, you're trying to buy hash. I just..."

She interrupted me. "The best piece of advice I can give you is this. Humour is a trap. You use it to hide behind and are very often not a positive contributor to group and ensemble work because of the inauthenticity with which you shield yourself from anything genuine."

"Uh..." I said.

Around the end of that semester, I gave in and made friends with some of the Physical Education majors in my residence. I drank a lot of beer. I went on a lot of adventures. I broke laws. I laughed uncontrollably and hysterically while others broke laws. I have fond memories. Then I grew up.

I am not an actor. I have not been involved in a theatre production since leaving that fine institution more than twenty years ago.

Though, I remember another piece of advice I got from my stagecraft professor.

"You are all very young. If you want to be successful as an actor...

quit now.

There are just not many parts written for young, good looking actors. And there are so many young, good looking actors. If you want to act, quit. Go and get a job. Live. Get some real world experience under your belt. Come back to acting when you are middle aged. There are more parts for middle aged actors, and there aren't as many middle aged actors out there to compete with. Plus, working construction a few summers will give you plenty of experience from which to draw when you do want to express an honest character."

I think my time is coming. If only I could get some time off work so I could audition for Broadway...